So it appears that I could not escape the flu season without coming down with this devilish virus but I did get some encouraging words from the doctor, "it appears you have been hit hard with this bug"---great, thanks Doc. Since I am a Veteran of the H1N1, I have tabulated the following top ten list in order to survive:
1. Get your boxing gloves out of the closet and mentally prepare for the ear biting fight of the season
2. Come to terms that you might not shower that often
3. Call your boss and beg for as much sick leave as he/she has to offer
4. Cry
5. Set up the couch/bed/favorite area in your house with kleenex, Tylenol cold & flu, cough drops, if you are lucky enough, some of that prescription strength cough medicine, water, tea, gatorade, thermometer, remote control, and many many DVDs or DVRd shows
6. Moan
7. Attempt to quarantine yourself from other family members and common areas of your house
8. Prepare yourself that Friends/Family might dis-invite you and your husband to any gatherings or parties for which you may have already hand-sewn a costume for and instead pull yourself together long enough to play a game of Scrabble with your husband/wife.
9. Cry
10. Allow your mother to bake Monster cookies and Overnight Fed-Ex them to you....no matter how old you are
Scott:
Yes I have (knock on wood) survived the H1N1 scare at the Friedrich household. As a survivor and a husband I have the following advice for treating your loved ones.
1. Many would believe that the best treatment that one can give is love and support however I think that having an unlimited Blockbuster supply of entertaining movies helps. Now gentlemen this is a win-win situation for us. First and foremost your wife/significant other/girlfriend will think that you are thoughtful and will love you for it. In reality though this is finally a chance to rent those movies that you said that you would watch together. It is a get out of chick flick free card. May I suggest at least 2 movies a day until the fever breaks (Failure to Launch, Pride and Prejudice and Bridal Wars are just a couple of suggestions).
2. You are allowed to sleep in the same bed with the patient but may I suggest if there is another room or a hide-a-bed to make that election. If you choose the former rather than the latter sleeping in your mountain hardware sleeping bag on top of the comforter is permissible.
3. Lysol, Purel and Clorox wipes are your new best friends. I prefer to call them the LPC.
4. Get on your chef hat and prepare the patient some food. This is a great time to pull out the bachelor food (ie Mac & Cheese and hot dogs, Campbells soup straight from the can and quesadillas made with the best wedding present ever.... the quesadilla maker). Lets keep in mind though gents that this is also a time to show your woman that you can put away chef cardboard and introduce your inner greatness. Every man has one meal that they have learned and have mastered. At the very least this should come out. May I suggest making that meal and lighting a votive candle. It shows thought and romance. BROWNIE POINTS TOO. Now do I have your attention?
5. Ice cream solves everything. Simple enough. Choose the very best and post pone the workout. You can shred with Julian Michaels later. Right now you are on a mission.
6. Take advice from the immortal words of Bruce Dickinson, "I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell" Laughter and love combined cures all.
No comments:
Post a Comment